Why Modern Life Isn’t Broken, But Our Relationship With It Might Be
We live in a world that loves extremes.
You are either meant to hustle harder, optimise everything and squeeze more productivity out of every moment, or you are meant to reject modern life entirely, move off-grid, delete your apps and drink herbal tea in a forest.
Neither of these quite fits, does it?
Most of us are not trying to escape modern life. We are trying to live well inside it.
We like our technology. We value our ambition. We enjoy convenience, connection and creativity. But we are also tired, overstimulated, a little lonely at times, and often unsure why, despite having so many tools at our fingertips, we still feel vaguely disconnected from ourselves and from each other.
This is the question that sits at the heart of my work in modern wellbeing, digital life and human connection:
What if modern life is not broken, but our relationship with it needs reimagining?
I have been thinking about this for many years, both personally and professionally. It links back to my upcoming book, Live Life Yummie
It also underpins how I think about presence, human behaviour and the environments we create for ourselves and each other.
The problem is not technology. It is how we live with it
I come to this both as a human and as a cyberpsychologist, and through years of observing how people actually live.
Technology does not make us disconnected by default. It simply amplifies or reflects what is already there. It speeds things up. It makes habits easier to fall into. It rewards what is loud, urgent and clickable. It does not naturally reward what is slow, subtle or nourishing.
So we begin to live in reaction mode. We eat quickly. We scroll while we chew. We answer messages while half listening to someone we love. We plan holidays and then either crash or rush through them. We schedule rest and then try to be productive with it.
We live beside our lives, not quite inside them.
And slowly, almost without noticing, we forget what it feels like to be properly present in our everyday lives.
Why I talk about food so much
People sometimes ask why food takes such a central role in my work on wellbeing, presence and modern life. (and why I’ve created the Yummietarian mindset?)
It is not about diets or rules. It is not about perfection. It is not about what you should eat.
It is because food is one of the last everyday rituals most of us still share.
We eat every day. More than once a day. Alone, with others, at desks, in cafés, on sofas, in cars, at kitchen tables.
Food is where our habits live. Our culture lives. Our relationships live. Our stress patterns live. Our pleasure lives.
If you want to understand how someone is really living, do not ask about their morning routine. Ask how they eat.
Food shows us our pace, our presence and our priorities. It is one of the simplest places to begin building a kinder relationship with modern life.
Presence, not perfection
This way of living is not about indulgence. It is about aliveness.
It is about learning how to experience more of your own life while you are in it.
Not escaping modernity. Not romanticising the past. Not performing wellness.
But weaving pleasure, presence and connection back into the ordinary moments you already have, from a proper lunch break to a real conversation, a meal you actually taste, a walk without headphones, a pause before reacting, a moment of noticing.
These are not small things. They are the building blocks of a life that feels lived.
Why this matters at work too
We often treat wellbeing and wellness as something personal, private and individual.
But our relationship with modern life is shaped just as much by our surroundings as by our intentions.
If your workplace rewards constant availability, speed and output, people will adapt to that.
If your workplace never leaves space for reflection, connection or proper breaks, people will survive it, but they will not thrive in it.
This is why I do not believe wellbeing can be solved with apps alone.
It lives in how meetings are run, whether lunch breaks are protected, how people are spoken to, whether rest is respected, and whether humans are treated like humans.
We do not need more information. We need different rhythms and approaches for how we live and work.
This is what I explore in my book
I am currently in the final stages of editing my book, Live Life Yummie, and it has been a deeply reflective process.
Not because I am repeating what is already known, but because I am creating and articulating new ways of understanding how we live, grounded in both research and lived experience.
Change does not come from guilt. It does not come from shame. It does not come from more rules.
It comes from safety, pleasure, meaning, belonging and environment.
This is true for individuals. It is true for organisations. It is true for cultures.
If you would like to know more about my background and how I came to this work, you can read more in About me right here on my website.
If this resonates
If you like modern life but want to live it with more wisdom. If you are ambitious but also tired. If you do not want to escape, just to inhabit your life more fully.
You are not alone.
Many of us are trying to work out how to live well inside the world we actually have, rather than chasing fantasies of escape or perfection.
And that, perhaps, is where real change begins.
YUMMIE TAKEAWAY
Modern life does not need fixing. Our relationship with it does.
We need to live differently. Not faster, not harder, but more human.
Small, ordinary, human moments are not distractions from life. They are where life actually happens.
This article is part of my ongoing exploration of modern life, wellbeing and human connection. I explore these themes through my writing, research, talks, workshops, events and collaborations with organisations.
